


Maybe I'm Afraid

by throughartistseyes



Category: The Umbrella Academy (TV)
Genre: Apocalypse Prevented, Eventual Smut, Everyone Is Alive, Idiots in Love, Love Confessions, M/M, Post-Canon Fix-It, virgin ben
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2019-04-19
Updated: 2019-06-17
Packaged: 2020-01-16 07:55:04
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 5
Words: 7,272
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18517180
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/throughartistseyes/pseuds/throughartistseyes
Summary: The worst thing about being dead was just how quickly you forget what it's like to be alive.Ben had been dead for a long time.OrHow an accidental compliment led to the Even Number Boys getting the happiness they deserve.





	1. One

**Author's Note:**

> First fic ever with no beta, please be kind!

The worst thing about being dead was just how quickly you forget what it's like to be alive.

Ben had been dead for a long time.

It was too easy to fall into his usual routines, that’s why he didn’t realize Allison had been talking to him until a paper ball hit his face. He jerked back in alarm, half expecting the take out menu to fall through his lap. When it didn’t he glanced at the source, who looked right back at him expectantly.

“You’re the deciding vote here,” She said with a pointed glare at Five “since some people can’t be bothered to voice an opinion.” Five rolled his eyes and blipped out of the room. Allison’s attention returned to Ben, who was still carefully holding the menu like it could slip out of his hands at anytime. “Burgers or tacos?”

After that incident, Ben tried harder to remember that the others could see him again. That, thanks to Five’s weird equations and powers, he was in fact alive again. The others were quick to catch on, soon beginning to address him whenever he entered a room as a little reminder.

The first time Vanya put a hand on his shoulder on the way to her breakfast spot he nearly jumped out of his skin. Up until he had punched Klaus, he had been without any kind of physical contact since he died. The sudden reminder had him jumping out of his seat and pulling the smaller woman into a tight hug. His family sat with quiet smiles, eating their breakfast. If they became more casual with their touches after that, no one said anything.

The worst though was remembering that everyone could hear him again, not just Klaus. Everyone. Including Diego. Diego who’s ass he just complemented in his vigilante uniform.

Shit.

Klaus was the first to react, bursting into giggles at the look on Diego’s face as he choked on his coffee. Ben sputtered for a moment, glancing between the two men in the room before turning on his heel and rushing up to his room.

Shit. He locked the door. He turned and pressed his back to the door, allowing himself to slide slowly down and bury his red face in his hands.

He wasn’t sure how long he stayed like that before he heard the knocking on his door.

“Benny it’s me,” Klaus. Ben let out a relieved sigh. “stop brooding for a minute and lemme in.”

He reached up and flipped the lock, standing and walking to his bed before face planting into the pillows. He heard a soft creak of the door before the bed dipped next to him.

“How freaked out is he?” Ben asked, muffled by the pillow.

“About as freaked out as you are.” Klaus answered, stretching to get comfortable on the small bed. After about fifteen seconds of silence Klaus opened his mouth again.

“There’s nothing to talk about.” Ben cut off his question, turning on his side to face his brother. “It was just a stupid thing that slipped out, I didn’t mean it like that.”

Klaus grinned. “Liar.” Ben rolled his eyes and smacked Klaus on the arm. “Ow! I’d be nicer to me if I were you, after I just defused that whole situation..” He grumbled. Ben sat up quickly.

“What did you do?”


	2. Two

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Diego is confused, Ben is scared, and Klaus handles the situation the best he can.

"Damn Di, really putting the ass in assassin to good use huh?" Ben said flippantly, not bothering to look up from his book until he heard a choked noise coming from the direction of the coffeepot. 

Where Diego had just choked on said coffee and was now staring at him. 

Because he heard what Ben said. 

Klaus' loud giggles broke him from his stupor and Ben quickly stood, tucking his book to his chest and rushed out of the kitchen. 

"The fuck are you laughing at?" Diego snapped at Klaus, obviously trying to process what had just happened. Diego had never liked feeling confused or conflicted, it threw his instincts off and left him feeling more vulnerable than he would have liked. 

Ben's comment could have been a joke, he had definitely spent enough time with Klaus when he was dead to pick up on some of the taller man's flirty humor, but the way he ran conflicted that. The anxiety that seized his face when he looked at Diego and realized what he said wasn't in line with an off the cusp joke. 

Diego was so deep in his own head he didn't realize Klaus had walked across the room until he had pulled himself up onto the counter next to him. 

"Earth to Diego" the curly haired man snapped his fingers, frowning and Diego's small flinch as he was brought back into the moment. "You alright?" Despite his lax posture there was a hint of concern in his voice that had Diego blinking back to reality. 

"I'm fine." He grumbled, turning back to his coffee, choosing to address it instead of the lanky man perched delicately on the kitchen counter. "Just wasn't expected that kind of comment so early in the morning". 

Diego wasn't oblivious to the kind of attention he got in his leather pants and tight sweaters. He'd watched heads of both men and women turn as he walked down the street. He'd been catcalled before, had drinks sent to him when he went out to bars, even had phone numbers slipped into his back pockets on a few occasions. It wasn't the comment that had startled him though, it was the fact that it had come from Ben. 

What surprised him more than anything though was that it didn't bother him that much. 

"Well I mean when you look like that" Klaus gestured to Diego's vigilante getup "at nine in the morning.." Klaus trailed off with a grin at Diego's chuckle. "He's just spent way too long with only me to talk to, anyone's sense of humor would be a little fucked after that." 

Diego's eyes lifted at the self depreciating comment, feeling himself open his mouth to argue before he hesitated, unsure of what to say. 

"Anyway," Klaus continued, Hello and Goodbye waving in front of him as to clear the air of whatever emotion had almost occurred. "I better check on Benny, make sure he isn't about to throw himself off the roof from embarrassment." Diego ran his hand through his short hair anxiously as Klaus jumped down from the counter. 

"Klaus," His hand reached out to grip his arm before he moved away. "tell him we're good, okay?" He had just gotten his family back and, even if he would never admit it, he was scared of losing them again. Klaus put a hand on top of Diego's before giving him a small smile and nodding. "Thank you." 

He watched the tall man all but float out of the room before sighing to himself and draining the rest of his coffee. 

 

 

Klaus didn't have to look far to find where his best friend was hiding. Growing up they had rarely kept their doors shut, at Reginald's "request", so the sight of Ben's shut tight was all the evidence he needed. 

Tapping his boney knuckles on the door he waited a moment. “Benny it’s me,” The silence stretched on for another minute. “stop brooding for a minute and lemme in.”

The lock clicked quietly and Klaus let himself in, closing the door behind him before sitting on the bed next to Ben.

“How freaked out is he?” Ben asked, voice muffled by the pillow.

“About as freaked out as you are.” Klaus answered, stretching to get comfortable on the small bed. After about fifteen seconds of silence Klaus opened his mouth again.

“There’s nothing to talk about.” Ben cut off his question, turning on his side to face his brother. “It was just a stupid thing that slipped out, I didn’t mean it like that.”

Klaus grinned. “Liar.” Ben rolled his eyes and smacked Klaus on the arm. “Ow! I’d be nicer to me if I were you, after I just defused that whole situation..” He grumbled. Ben sat up quickly.

“What did you do?” Klaus saw the panic in his dark eyes and was quick to put his hands up, trying to calm Ben back down. 

"I told him you had probably just picked up on my dark, sexy humor." Klaus quickly explained, eyebrow quirking at the look of unease on the other man's face. "Ben, did I just lie to Diego for you?" 

"Not like it's the first time.." Ben grumbled, avoiding Klaus' eyes as the other sat up in surprise, wide eyes and wicked grin in place. 

"Do you have a crush?" Klaus asked and Ben scoffed. 

"You're making us sound like teenage girls." He said rolling his eyes. 

"You do!" Klaus was on his knees, bouncing the bed in his excitement. Ben quickly put a hand over the other's mouth. 

"Would you cut it out?" He snapped, feeling Klaus' grin under his fingers. When he seemed to calm down Ben let go, slumping with his back to the wall.

"It's not the end of the world if you do." Klaus said quieter, almost genuine and reassuring. "You never had the chance to live your life before you.." He trailed off before catching his train of thought again. "Now you've got a second chance, a chance to learn from all of our mistakes and live the way you want to." 

Ben stared at him, he knew from years of exposure that Klaus was smarter than almost everyone gave him credit for, but his was on a different level. 

"What if.." Green eyes met brown as Ben hesitantly began to speak. "What if I want something like Allison and Luther have?" Since they stopped the apocalypse, the two had finally worked up the nerve to figure things out and get together. "Or like you had with the guy in Vietnam?" 

The mention of Dave sent a flicker of pain across Klaus' face. It had only been a few months since he had died, been weeks since Klaus had conjured him. Dave wanted Klaus to move on and live his life, once Klaus had agreed Dave had faded away to find peace. Rationally, Klaus knew it was for the best but that hadn't dulled the pain of it all quite yet. 

"What if.." Ben's voice pulled Klaus out of his grief. "What if I think that person could be Diego?" 

His eyes were full of fear and anxiety once again, bracing for rejection. But none came. Klaus reached out and took both of his hands in his own tattooed palms gently. 

"Then go after it."

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Comments are love.


	3. Three

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Diego reflects, Ben tries to be bold.

Much to his surprise, Diego actually was enjoying living with his family again. 

Sure they bickered about things, but since the non-apocalypse they had come together in a way that they never had before. Luther was opening up, really attempting to get to know them all as individuals instead of as their roles on the team. Allison had, unsurprisingly after her and Luther finally got together, been bringing Claire around more and valued all of their conversations more than before her injury. 

Vanya had some trouble at the beginning, choosing to stay at her apartment to avoid the memories the academy had left her. She did however come to every movie night, dinner, and family outing that occurred. Five was attempting to put his old life behind him and start again, looking to the future for the first time in who knows how long. It had surprised no one when Vanya invited him to live with her in her apartment, the two falling back into their old friendship. 

Klaus and Ben seemed attached at the hip, as it turns out they had been the whole time Ben had been dead. Klaus had, thankfully, kicked the hard drugs now that he had the support he needed. They all begrudgingly accepted him continuing to smoke weed in the house if it meant he was otherwise sober. 

But there had been something off since he returned from Vietnam. Diego later found out that, aside from Ben, he was the only one who knew about Dave. Klaus had been mourning his death since he returned to 2019, but was adamant about not talking about it. Diego had tried, one night as they watched shitty TV on the couch, to ask about Dave. The taller man quickly shot up and escaped to the kitchen, mumbling something about making chocolate stuffed pancakes, and never came back to the couch. 

Diego had always felt a connection to Klaus, more than his other family. After they left the academy Diego was the one to pick Klaus up from the hospital, to find a rehab with an empty bed, even knock some of his dealers off his trail on a few occasions. What he couldn't say with words he tried to with actions, but it didn't seem to be working on this grief that seemed to surround him lately. 

And then there was Ben. 

Diego would deny it to his dying day, but he had cried in joy when he came back from the dead. He had years of catching up to do, and felt just a little guilty for not believing he had been watching over them this whole time. He had been trying to give Ben some time and space to reorient himself to life again when Ben made that comment in the kitchen. 

When Ben had..hit on him? 

Diego shook his head, sweat dripping off his short hair as he readjusted his stance, hitting the punching bag in a quick combination before moving out of its way as it swung back. 

What was bothering him the most was surprisingly not the fact that they were family. As far as Diego was concerned they were all brothers or sisters in arms, not in legal terms and certainly not in blood. 

It wasn't the fact that Ben was a man either. Diego had long ago accepted that he had an appreciation for people, regardless of gender. While he had never acted upon it, he knew that he found some men just as attractive as women. 

What did bother him was how Ben had acted after. Mostly, how he seemed to be avoiding Diego. 

Klaus had played it off well in the beginning, saying it was just a joke that fell flat. The days after Klaus had said Ben was embarrassed by the "joke". It had been over a week now though, and Ben still wouldn't meet his eyes. Still wouldn't sit in a room if it was just the two of them. For lack of a better term, Diego was hurt by his actions. 

He was so caught up in his own head, he hadn't heard the door of the academy gym open. The hair on the back of his neck rose in the only warning that he wasn't alone. He paused his punches, reaching instinctively for the knife strapped to his thigh. 

"Whoa whoa! It's just me!" Ben placed his hands up in surrender before the knife could leave Diego's hand, blush high on his cheeks. "I thought you heard me come in, otherwise I would've said something." 

Diego vaguely remembered overhearing Ben and Luther talk about getting back into a regular training routine, he just wasn't expecting Ben to join his own workouts. 

At some point during Diego's mental lapse, Ben had set his bag against the wall and begun to stretch, casually making his way over to the track that circled the gym for a run. Diego resumed his assault on the bag, eyes on Ben as he made his first few laps. His fists tightened for a moment as he took a breath. 

"Why now?" 

Ben's gait stuttered for a moment as he turned towards Diego. "What do you mean?" 

"I mean" Diego started, steeling himself for the conversation. "why are you suddenly okay with being workout buddies since you've been avoiding me for days?" 

Ben slowed to a stop, guilt and panic clear on his face even from across the gym. He pushed his hair out of his face, a nervous tic Diego recognized from when they were kids. A hint of guilt twinged at Diego, he hadn't meant to make him uncomfortable, he just wanted to understand what was going on. 

"I'm not mad." He reassured, stepping away from the punching bag and slowly towards the other man. "If it was the joke you made in the kitchen, it's okay. We can forget about it if you want, start a clean slate." As the words came out, Diego realized how badly he didn't actually want that. He looked Ben over, hair sticking in every direction as he raked his fingers through it, dark eyes downcast, a light blush getting darker the closer Diego got. It was like seeing him in a whole new light, and suddenly Diego was desperate for an answer. Did Ben want something from him? Something like Allison and Luther seemed to have? He snapped back to the moment as Ben mumbled something under his breath. 

"I couldn't hear you, mind repeating that?" He asked patiently, now just a few steps away from the shorter man. Ben took a deep breath and sighed, eyes fixed on a spot on the mats behind Diego's feet. 

"I said.." Ben seemed to gather his nerve. "I said that it wasn't a joke. It was a thought that just..slipped out." Ben's eyes finally crept up to meet Diego's, anxious yes, but brave at the same time as if he had made a decision. "Not the first time a thought like that crossed my mind either." His voice was firm, though his eyes gave away the risk he was taking. 

Two steps separated them at this point. Diego took one forward. 

"You tell me if I'm r-reading this wrong." Diego had tried to copy the steadiness of his voice, but his stutter gave way to his nerves. Hope flared in Ben's face, it was all he needed to take one step forward. 

Diego reached to cup his chin, the shorter man glancing up from his lashes, and it was all he needed to close the space between their lips. He had expected it to be awkward, the slight stubble to be unpleasant. 

He didn't expect it to feel like home.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Unbeta'd so please let me know if there are any mistakes! 
> 
> Comments keep me writing this 💙


	4. Four

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Diego figure some things out together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> No Klaus in this one, sorry!

So here are the facts. Before death, Ben was: 

1\. A naive twenty-something. 

2\. Emotionally and socially inept. 

3\. Painfully shy away from the academy. 

4\. A complete and utter virgin. 

After Death Ben however was..not much different. Sure following Klaus around for years had given him a bit of..experience.. In matters that he had none in prior, but none of that was helping him now. 

For now he was stuck, heart pounding and palms sweating as he had his lips planted against Diego's. Unmoving. Panicking. 

Diego pulled back slightly, eyebrows furrowed in confusion, to look at Ben. He could almost see the walls being built back up in the shorter mans eyes, thinking he misread the situation. 

"No, wait!" Ben all but shouted, making Diego flinch and pull his hand away and starting to take a step back. Ben's hands fluttered around him, unsure of what to do next. 

Diego stopped moving away, that was something at least right? 

His body language was tense and his eyes were downcast, waiting for the other shoe to drop. Waiting for Ben to tell him he misunderstood, waiting for the rejection. Instead he felt Ben's hand wrapping tentatively around his wrist. 

"Gotta give me something to g-go off h-here Benny." Diego said softly, eyes not coming up to meet Ben's. Ben let out the breath he didn't realize her was holding, thumb rubbing slowly against the other's wrist. 

"That was my first kiss, just got nervous I guess.." Ben's words were barely even audible to his own ears, but the way Diego's eyes snapped up told him he was able to hear the confession. Ben closed his instead, feeling the hot blush creep up to his ears again. He began to will the ground to open up and swallow him before he felt Diego's hand shift, moving gently to twine their fingers. 

"You should've said something" Diego's tone had changed, less scared and defensive and more..playful. "would've tried harder." Ben could hear the smile in his voice and couldn't help but match it as their eyes met again. 

"Probably didn't help that I didn't do anything." Ben grumbled and Diego laughed, tugging him closer by the hand until they were inches apart again. 

"Live and learn, right?" Diego reached up to cup the back of Ben's neck, thumbing through the soft hair at the base. "But we should clear some things up first huh? To avoid any shit like this in the future?" 

"Future huh?" Ben found himself hopefully repeating. Diego blinked a few times before a glint of determination flashed across his face. 

"First things first, if we do this we do it right." Diego said firmly. "No dancing around each other, no games, just are we or are we not.." His determination faltered as he tried to find the right term for what they could have. A relationship? Just a fuck buddy? Did Ben just want someone to practice with before going out into the world outside the academy? 

"Dating?" Ben offered, seeing Diego's struggle. The tension seemed to seep out of the shorter man as he nodded. "I'd like to try if you want to." The words felt too bold leaving Ben's lips. He was never this forward about wanting anything, except with Klaus who usually was so high he couldn't hear him. 

"C-can I k-k-ki-" Diego's stutter was in rare form, the way it only got when he was scared. He closed his eyes in embarrassment, already anticipating the feeling of the tips of his ears turning red in shame. Instead he found hesitant lips pressing softly against his. 

He melted into the kiss for a few seconds, enjoying the tentative way Ben moved against him before taking control of the kiss. Ben had a few inches on him so Diego rolled up on the balls of his feet, one hand still sliding into his dark hair and the other cupping his jaw. Ben didn't know where to put his hands, they fluttered around before settling cautiously on Diego's hips. 

He made a surprised sound when Diego nipped at his lower lip, resulting in a low chuckle before Diego pulled away. 

"We were supposed to be talking, remember?" He asked, eyebrow raised and a grin spreading across his face "And you're making it hard to focus, Mr. Never been kissed." Ben groaned at the nickname, hiding his face in his hands. 

"Can we please forget about that?" He already knew he was the last of the family to have their virginity intact, he didn't need any more reminders that Luther had beaten him to the punch on this one. He felt Diego's hands slide down to his hips. 

"Why would we do that, baby?" His voice was low. "I think it's kind of hot." Ben's face shot out of his hands in disbelief and Diego laughed at the wide eyed look on his face. 

"Why don't we take this conversation somewhere more comfortable?" Diego suggested, turning to collect his gym bag. He was halfway through packing up his things when he realized Ben wasn't moving. Frowning, he thought about his words again as he grabbed his bag, quickly realizing his mistake. "Somewhere like the kitchen or the courtyard." He assured, understanding that his question could have implied something Ben wasn't ready for yet. 

"That sounds good, let me grab my bag." Relief was evident in Ben's voice. So sex was definitely a subject they needed to talk about, Diego thought to himself. 

Ben quickly packed his things up as Diego made his way towards him again. Slinging the bag over his shoulder he took a chance and grabbed Diego's hand, lacing their fingers together. 

Diego glanced at their hands before beaming up at him. Ben couldn't remember the last time he had seen him look so happy and relaxed, it was a good look on him. 

Together they slowly made their way towards the courtyard. Diego listened for Luther's heavy footsteps but heard none, Number One wasn't home. If he was out, then it was more than likely he was with Allison. Vanya and Five hadn't stopped by today, which just left Klaus in the house somewhere.

Liking their odds, Diego sat on one of the stone benches and pulled a laughing Ben onto his lap. They kissed for a few moments, Ben finally working up the nerve to drag his fingers along Diego's stubble, fingertips coming up to run along the scar on the side of his face. 

"This is nice." Diego said simply the next time they parted, wrapping his arms around the tall boy. Ben hummed in agreement, fingers moving through Diego's short hair. "Could do this for ages." Ben's hands paused, a sinking feeling in his stomach as he started to pull away. He froze as the shift in their position alerted him to just how hard Diego was beneath him.

"I- I can do..something about that if you want..?" Ben stammered awkwardly, eyes glued to the stone covered ground. Diego shifted on the bench so Ben was perched sideways on his thighs rather than on his lap. 

"I don't want you to do anything you're not comfortable doing." Diego's voice held no room for argument and Ben slumped against his chest in relief. His thanks was murmured into Diego's shoulder as he stroked knife calloused fingers across his back.

"We can take this as slow as you need to, okay?" Ben nodded against his chest. "If I have my way, we've got a lot of time ahead of us," Diego's sincere words had Ben sitting up to meet his eyes. "I'm in no rush if you aren't."

Ben leaned forward to capture his lips in another soft kiss, allowing himself to think, for the first time in a long time, about the future.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry this update took so long, end of the school year is crazy for teachers too!
> 
> Comments are love (and motivation) 💙


	5. Five

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Ben and Diego finally get their shit together.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Rating goes up to E for this chapter. First time ever writing smut, feedback would be wonderful!
> 
> Written on my phone, please excuse spelling errors.

Three weeks. 

It had been three weeks since that first kiss in the gym. Three weeks of sneaking kisses in the halls of their childhood home. Three weeks of sitting in Diego's lap while they made out. Three weeks of Diego shifting him to the side when things finally started to heat up.  

Ben was going insane. 

"He's pure evil." Ben groaned into the pillow as he flopped gracelessly onto Klaus' bed. The curly haired man sighed, not looking up from the nail he was painting. 

"Is it safe to assume we're talking about your personal assassin and not someone as dull as Luther or psychotic as Five?" Klaus' question was met with another groan. He smiled, taking that for an answer before he heard something grumbled into the pillow. "You're gonna have to speak up there Benny. I can see the dead, but I can't read minds." 

Ben rolled onto his side, cheeks already starting to turn pink. Ben mumbled something so quiet and quickly Klaus couldn't even attempt to understand it. He cocked his head to the side, fixing Ben with his best imitation of Five's exasperated look. 

"I need your advice..." He sighed. "about me and Diego.." Klaus' eyebrows furrowed. 

"Trouble in paradise?" He asked, not bothering to hide the concern in his voice. It had been years since he had seen either of them as happy as they had been lately. 

"No," Ben was quick to clarify. "things are great, I'm really happy, he's  just.." 

"Pure evil?" Klaus quipped, grin on his face. Ben snorted and gave him a halfhearted kick towards the end of the bed. 

"He wont have sex with me." Ben admitted lamely, looking away as Klaus' eyes widened. 

"Well you have come to the right place, Benny boy." Klaus reached under the bed for his box of nail polish. "I'm a bit of an expert on the matter." He sat back up on the bed. "Pick a color." 

 

Across the house another knife wedged into the portrait of Reginald that had been dragged into the gym with a satisfying thud. 

Diego sighed and crossed the room to retrieve the knives that had found their way through the portrait man's arteries. A quiet suffle of feet made their way down the stairs, a hesitance brought on only by years of conditioning.  

"Do you want to talk about it?" 

Vanya's voice was still quiet, but held a confidence that it hadn't before the averted apocalypse 

"Talk about what?" Another knife hit its mark on the painting. 

"Whatever it is that's bothering you." She leaned on the doorframe. "Deny it all you want, but we grew up together remember? I can tell when something's bugging you." He felt a pang of guilt at the reminder that while he was still learning things about Vanya, she had known him their whole lives. "Is it Ben?" 

The next knife slipped from his fingers as he spun it, and she rolled her eyes. "You're not exactly subtle." She said with a smile. "I always thought it'd be you and Klaus, but I'm happy to be wrong seeing the two of you together." 

Any protest died as Diego opened his mouth. It wasn't as if he was hiding this new relationship with Ben, but they had yet to say anything to the family. He wasn't concerned about what they'd say, everyone was quick to accept Allison and Luther, but part of him was worried saying it aloud would jinx it. 

Vanya walked over, bending to pick up the knife that had fallen. She weighed the small blade in her hand for a moment. "Think you could teach me how to throw one?" 

Diego huffed out a surprised laugh, a genuine grin on his face for the first time since coming down to the gym. "Yeah, I think we can try." 

He walked over to his bag on the bench and pulled out one of the blades he hadn't had the chance to sharpen in a while. "Let's start with this, less chance of you accidently getting hurt with a dull one." Vanya's smile helped ease the guilt he had felt earlier, maybe he should invite her to more of his workouts in the future.  "Now hold it in your hand like this.." 

"So it is Ben," Vanya ventured, wrapping her fingers around the handle as instructed. "that's what's bugging you?" 

"Nothing's bugging me." Diego mumbled. "Especially not Ben. Turn your foot." He tapped the inside of Vanya's foot with his own, widening her stance. 

"If you ever need to talk, about anything, you know I'm here right?" Uncertainty laced her words, eager to confirm their improved relationship. Diego showed her how to pull her arm into the starting position before nodding. 

"Yeah, I know. Now keep your elbow steady, follow through with your hand." He led her through a few practice attempts before switching the dull knife for one of his good ones. 

Vanya looked over her shoulder for the go ahead before launching the knife. Both let out a cheer when the blade found a home several inches to the side of portrait Reginald's head. Vanya spun to wrap him in a hug, which after a few stunned moments, he returned. 

"I don't want to mess this up with him." Diego admitted, easily resting his chin on Vanya's head. "He was gone for so long, we just got him back. I don't want to do anything that could make me l-lo-lose him." Vanya pulled back to look up at him. 

"What do you mean lose him? Did something happen?" Vanya asked, moving to sit on the bench as Diego retrieved the knife she'd thrown. 

"More like didn't happen." He murmmered, shaking his head. She tilted her head inquisitivly and he sighed. "None of this leaves this room, got it?" She nodded earnestly. "Not to Five, or Allison..no book." He said with a raised eyebrow and she sheepishly crossed her heart. "How do I know when to take the next step with him? Physically?" 

 

"It's not like we haven't done anything.." Ben defends, watching as Klaus dragged more of the blue polish along his nails. "but we never get farther than making out." 

"Well is he.." Klaus made an explicit gesture towards his lap with a smirk. "Watch the nails!" he yelped as he avoided a swat from Ben. 

"It's definitly not a gay crisis dilema if that's what you mean." Ben confirmed with a laugh, giving his hand back to his best friend. 

"Maybe he thinks this is what you want." Klaus offered. 

"What do you mean?" 

"I mean, darling, you've never been all that good at asking for what you want." He reminded softly, "Plus with the virgin angle you've been working, maybe he's trying to take it slow?" 

That was how he and Dave had been during the war, Dave unsure of how far he was allowed to push and Klaus was terrified of losing the one good thing in his new life. They had wasted so much time dancing around each other that they would never be able to get back. 

Ben sat back, processing this possibility.  Klaus knew it hadn't been easy for Ben to admit how limited his experiences had been before his death, but as far as he knew, Diego wasn't an expert on this kind of relationship either. 

After a few minutes with no response from Ben, he tried something else. "Walk me through it, maybe see where the issue is?" Ben looked up in surprise, it was so easy to forget the hell Klaus had been through even in the short time between Reginald's funeral and the apocolypse, but there was no denying the newfound wisdom he had gained. 

"We'll be kissing.." Ben started slowly, "after a while he'll pull me on his lap."  Klaus rolled his eyes. 

"Careful with all those naughty details Benny." He teased, earning a laugh from the other, tension leaving his shoulders. 

"I mean. asshole, things will be going great. We'll be kissing, he'll be..responding." That earned a raised eyebrow and grin from the curly haired man. "But then I'll want to go a little further and he stops." Ben sighed, hands falling into his lap in exhasperation.  The next thing he knew, Ben was being hauled up to balance across Klaus' thighs, new muscles another reminder of his time as a soldier. 

"What?" Klaus asked at Ben's yelp of surprise. "You know I'm more of a visual learner, and you aren't exactly forthcoming with the details here." Ben shoved his shoulders, but remained where he was, too used to Klaus' behaviors after all these years to be really surprised. "Alright, show me your moves. Pretend I'm Di, you've just been kissed breathless" Ben outright laughed at his theatrical tone. "Whats you're next move?" 

Ben reached towards the hem of his own shirt, hesitating for a few seconds before starting to pull his t-shirt off. He barely lifted it a few inches before Klaus stopped him. 

"You paused." Klaus stated, like the solution was that simple. 

"What do you mean?" 

"I mean" he huffed. "you paused before making your move. Is that just this time or with Didi too?" Realization started to dawn on Ben's face. 

"Klaus you're a genius!" He surged forward to wrap the thinner man in a hug before jumping to his feet. "I owe you one." He promised before rushing out of the room. 

Klaus waited for the door to shut behind him before looking down at the new development in his lap. 

"Fuck." 

 

Twenty minutes later had Ben knocking on Diego's bedroom door. 

"Di, you in here?" With no response he let himself  into the room. After they had returned to their improved timeline, they made the family decision  to do some much needed renovations. The first order of business had been making the bedrooms an appropriate size for adults to live in, which Ben seriously appreciated as he glanced around. 

Diego's knife case was sitting open on the bed, Ben walked over to sit beside it, noting that several were missing from their homes. He must be in the gym then.  

Before he could even get up to look for him the man in question came through the door. 

"Hey babe" Diego's face lit up, leaning in to kiss his forehead before starting to put his knives back in their case. "You'd never believe who I just taught to throw knives."  

"Mom?" Ben joked back, watching the care he was putting into his collection. 

"No smartass," he laughed back "Vanya. Funny enough, I think we bonded." Diego put away his case and flopped onto his back next to Ben. "What have you been up to?" 

"Spent some quality time with Klaus." Ben answered, wiggling his freshly painted nails. "Got some pretty good advice actually." Diego turned to look at his boyfriend with a raised eyebrow. 

"Anything I should be worried about?" He asked causiously. Ben shook his head with a smile. 

"He just gave me a few pointers." Ben swung a leg over to straddle Diego's thighs. "Is this okay?" He asked, reaching for the hem of Diego's t-shirt as he leaned in for a kiss. 

"Absolutly babe." He put his hands over Ben's for a minute. "But Vanya pointed out something, we should probobly talk about what we're comfortable with instead of trying to read each other's minds." Ben slumped onto his chest in relief. 

"Yes please" he mumbled, kissing Diego's neck softly as he spoke. "I know I don't have as much experience, but you've been driving me crazy lately with all this stopping!"  Diego let out a laugh that Ben surged up to silence with a kiss. 

"And all this time I thought I was being a gentleman by waiting." Diego pushed up onto his elbows, staring in admiration as Ben settled himself comfortably in his lap. "So how did you see tonight ending?" 

"Definitly a lot less of this." Ben plucked at Diego's t-shirt again, which the other was quick to strip off and throw in the hamper across the room. "And maybe less of this too..?" Ben's confidence waivered as he hooked the waistband of Diego's sweats with one finger. 

"Anything for you" Diego promised, lips pressing against his neck. He lifted his hips, careful not to disturb Ben where he was watching Diego's abs flex, to pull his sweats off in what he would later claim as a graceful motion. 

It wasn't until Diego leaned back on his elbows clad only in his boxers did it occur to Ben that he was still fully dressed. He quickly shurgged off his hoodie and pulled his own shirt over his head before he was stopped again by Diego's hands running up and down his sides. 

Damn, my baby is be-beau-" he took a breath to focus himself. "beautiul." In a quick motion he grabbed Ben's hips and twisted them until their positiones were reversed. Ben yelped in surprise, but was soon distracted by Diego kissing down the smooth skin of his chest. When he reached his stomach, he flicked his eyes up again. "Still good?" Ben nodded, eager to see where this was heading. "God I want to get my mouth on you." 

Ben moaned at the idea, hips jerking up subconciously at the suggestion. Deigo let out a deep chuckle and bit the inside of his hip playfully. The reaction was instantanious, Ben moaned louder, hands fisting in the bedding under him. 

Interesting. 

Diego trailed his lips across to his other hipbone, biting down as he did before. This time Ben bit his lip in an attempt to keep quiet, hands flying up to seek purchase in Diego's short hair. Diego smiled, leaning back to tap on the button of Ben's jeans. 

"Mind if we get these out of the way?" Ben didn't bother to respond, just scrambled backwards to yank the jeans off, cursing when they got caught at his ankles. "Watch it babe" Diego laughed, narrowly avoiding a knee to the face. "We've got all night." 

"Easy for you to say.." Ben grumbled, protests turning into a whine as Diego moved to mouth against his cock through his boxers. 

"Are you su-" 

"For the love of God Di, if you don't get your mouth on me in the next ten seconds I swear I'm gonna roll you over and make you!" Diego sat frozen at the sudden wave of arousal Ben's outburst brought. Ben seemed to realize this, grinning down at his lover with a dangerous look in his eyes. "Or maybe we'll save that for another time, huh Di?" 

Diego was having a hard time trusting his voice not to stutter over any kind of response, instead pulling off Ben's boxers and licking a long stripe from the base of his dick to the tip, flicking his tongue at the top. Ben threw back his head, hands pressing on the base of Diego's skull encouragingly. Diego covered Ben's hand with one of his own, pressing down as he began to slowly sink his mouth further down the shaft. 

"God baby that's so good." Ben moaned, his praise earning an answering moan from the shorter haired man. "You like hearing that? How -ah great you are for me?" Another moan rumbled its way around Ben's dick. "Babe you were made for this." Diego pressed down further, nose hitting the short curls at the base. He glanced up at Ben, eyes closed, back arched in pleasure. He waited until he could feel the tip bouncing against the back of his throat before taking a deep breath.

Then he swallowed. 

Ben looked as if he had just been electrocuted, hips snapping up wildly and fingernails digging into Diego's skull as he came. Diego pulled back slightly to avoid choking, softly sucking Ben through his orgasim before pulling off and resting his head on Ben's stomach. 

After a minute or two, Ben seemed to have caught his breath and weakly pulled at Diego's shoulders until the larger man hovered above him, dipping down slightly to brush a kiss against his lips. 

"That was..amazing." Ben praised, still a bit breathless, and Diego beamed down at him. "Now I think it's your turn." He shoved at him to roll over but Diego stayed put. 

"I'm not sure how much longer I could last, may be over before it even begins." He admitted, pushing down his underwear and reaching to grip himself. To his surprise, Ben swatted the hand away.

"Please? Let me?" Was all he had to say before Diego nodded, bracing himself with his knees on either side of Ben's hips, hands next to his head. Ben wrapped his fingers around Diego's cock, taking a minute to figure out his grip before increasing his speed. 

"Almost" Diego grit out, panting. "J-just.." he covered Ben's hand with his own, showing him how to twist on the upstroke. It hardly took any time after that for Diego to cry out, painting Ben's chest with his cum. 

His arms nearly gave out as he lowered himself down to lay across his boyfriend, enjoying the afterglow. 

"If you tell anyone I like to cuddle," he grumbled into Ben's shoulder as the smaller man ran his fingers thought his short hair. "I will stab you." 

Ben laughed, dipping his head in for a kiss.

"No promises."


End file.
